Tag Archives: Raising kids

Evangelist Confuses Judgement Day Prediction with Two Year Old’s Birthday

End of the World Evangelist, Harold Camping, has just confirmed that his second calculation for the return of Christ and Judgement Day for all unbelievers is incorrect.  Camping says May 21st, 2011 is actually the second birthday of a little boy from Siloam Springs, Arkansas by the name of Shepherd Faught.  When asked how such an insignificant two-year old birthday could be confused with the Judgement Day of the entire world, Camping revealed Shepherd’s second birthday was actually the Judgement Day or rather Judgement Year for his two loving parents, Taylor and Julia Faught.  Camping says, “Shepherd’s second birthday is when he will enter his Terrible Two Phase, therefore marking Judgement Day and more likely Judgement Year for Taylor and Julia”.  Although Camping was regretful that his false predictions scared a total of three people and only converted half a person over to Christianity, he did take pride in being able to forewarn two unsuspecting parents from a small town in Arkansas.

As for the parents of Shepherd, they are not too concerned about Camping’s ominous predictions about their son and thought he might be a little too late on the prediction.  Julia was quoted saying, “Taylor, I thought he started his Terrible Two Phase last week?”.  Taylor and Julia have confirmed their world is still spinning and their house has not yet been burned down by the fires of judgement. They are currently making preparations to throw an amazing two-year old birthday party.

 A Thomas the Train birthday party for Shepherd has been planned and will commence at 10:30 am in the front lawn of the Faught residence.  If the weather brings rain, the party will be moved to the garage.  A game of “Pin the Steam on the Choo-Choo Train” will kickoff at approximately 11:00 am.  Each kid in attendance will receive a train conductor hat, wooden train whistle, and all the cake they can eat.


Double Team

Double team was the strategy going into the 21st day of May in the year 2009.   The four years previous to this day Julia and I were on the court shooting a friendly game of Horse.  There was a lot of valuable time spent together communicating, planning, and growing through life.  Those four years of Horse were absolutely amazing and a time to be cherished.  Shot after shot and game after game, I grew to love Julia more than life it’s self.  God showed me there was no other person on this planet that was a better match for myself.  Where I missed the lay up, she nailed it.  Where she struggled with three ball, I called nothing but net.  Together we were the best at creating and mastering the trick shot. If we where to play another team in Horse, we couldn’t be beaten, we couldn’t be separated. 

Then Shepherd on that 21st day of May in the year 2009 walked on to the court.  This baller brought a new game to the playground, and we were no longer playing Horse.  It was a full-fledged pick up game of 2 on 1.  Shepherd’s height was deceiving, but he quickly revealed his mad skills.  The only way Julia and I were going to make it was if we used the double team.

Luckily, we could see Shepherd coming from 9 months away.  We had a lot of time to worry, plan, and prepare.   I say worry, because I absolutely loved our four years of playing Horse.  I didn’t want to flush all those hours and memories down the drain, because a new baby came to the playground.  I feared Julia, being an amazing and loving mother, would forget about me.  Also, I feared we could both be so consumed with Shepherd that we would forget about each other.  See, I know that after 18 years Shepherd is walking off the court to go play his own game.  When he does leave (or the last child leaves), I know we are back to playing Horse and I want to know my partner!  So, double team was our plan and it worked well.  We worked closely as team and were both ready to jump in when the other was exhausted.  My fears were relieved after a year and a half when I looked up at my teammate and realized we were closer than ever before.  Sure, 2 on 1 one had its highs and lows, but I was glad I was playing the game with Julia and Shepherd.

Those of you who have experience playing 2 on 1, what are some suggestions for keeping your marriage the main priority? 

Van Damme and Rodman Suggestions:

  1. Double Team – two parents involved is easier than one parent.
  2. Make time for each other and make sure you have a date night often!
  3. Weekend trip – take the kid with you at times, but leave them behind at times.
  4. Strict bed time for the little one – this gives you time for yourselves in the evening.
  5. Guy time/Girl time – everyone needs a break and don’t keep tabs!

Oh, but wait this blog is not over!  I can see another baby boy making his way to the playground and he will be here in a matter of days.  The game is about to shift from 2 on 1 to 2 on 2.  Goodbye double team!  Man to man here we come!  So, of course I have my jitters about the new game to be played.  Honestly, this man to man strategy looks tough and grueling at times.  There won’t be many timeouts and rests on the bench will be short.  I know there will be ups and downs, but I have faith in my ole Horse partner and the good Lord to care us through. 

Does anyone have any advice on the man to man strategy?  And what about those who are down one man and forced to play zone?  Please comment because we need the help!

WARNING: Do not watch the movie Double Team!  I am certain any movie with Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme is horrible!


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