Tag Archives: love

Lipstick and Six Years

Victim of a Shepherd Circumstance

This post begins exactly were the last one left off.   It was about seven o’clock in the morning and I believe the post ended with this line, “Now, off to clean up the lipstick  Shepherd just used to paint the carpet and himself! No joke – Julia is going to love this one”!  As I was finishing things up, I looked over to see Shepherd at my side, maroon lipstick all over his hands, giving his uh-oh uh-oh speech with an inquisitive “how in the world did this happen” expression on his face.   Since you can’t find lipstick at a BassPro Shop, I knew this was a job for Julia.  I walked back to the bedroom to wake Julia up for an amazing morning.  Her day began with a blurred view of my face and the muffled sound of my voice saying, “Babe, how do you get lipstick out of carpet? And by the way, happy six-year anniversary”! Yep, that is how far we have come in six years! No longer are anniversary mornings beginning with a good sleep-in, followed up with breakfast in bed and a peaceful cup of coffee.  It is now a 6:30 am wake up call from a two-year old down the hall, a uh-oh, and lipstick in the carpet that jump starts the anniversary.  The battle to celebrate six amazing years of marriage was officially a go!

Valentine’s Day and our anniversary day are big productions in the Faught marriage.  These days are usually celebrated by a weekend getaway, fancy dinner, or a crazy fun date night.  This is just one way we try to keep each other and our marriage first.  After six years, really after having two young children, these special days have become something we desperately have to fight for to make good on.  We have to fight our children, stress, sickness, and ourselves to happily celebrate these special days. 

Our day began with no rest or relaxation.  We jumped right into cleaning permanent lipstick out of the living room carpet.  We then continued to chase around, for some unknown reason, an extra ornery Shepherd through the house.   We had a lovely non-peaceful breakfast with scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, and tears being thrown on the floor.  Shortly after breakfast, the decision was made to attend the annual Siloam Springs Dogwood Festival.   So, we have a dirty house, a toddler on the loose, a crying newborn, and a mission to head out the door in less than an hour.  Of course, this creates an opportunity for an explosive marital conversation on who is going to do what and how we are going to get out the door with a clean house, babies packed, and diaper bags in tow.  We then leave for the Festival and return for naps.  Three hours later, Shepherd wakes up from his nap with a fever (this explains his extra craziness).  Not only does he wake up with a slight fever, but we have family pictures to attend with Julia’s family that includes 8 children, 6 out of the 8 being 2 years old or younger.  There is one word to describe family pictures with 8 young children and the word is INSANITY. 

So, here we are after a long stressful day wondering if we will even celebrate our big day.  Our plans for using family for babysitting are useless, since you can’t have a sick toddler around everyone else’s kids.  Our anniversary date night out on the town was doomed and it looked like we would be regulated to a big glass of wine and an early arrival to a good night sleep.  Thankfully, Julia had a backup plan and an amazing anniversary present for me.  Since I am extremely paranoid that life and children will come before our marriage, Julia gave me eight envelopes filled with pre-designed date nights from The Great Date Experience, provided by Married Life Online  (I highly recommend checking the website out, and more to come on this in the near future).  What an amazing idea and relief to a paranoid husband! We ended up putting the boys down early and using one of the envelope date nights for a home date to celebrate six years.  It turned out to be one of the best dates we have enjoyed in recent memory.  

A wise mentor once told me that marriage gets hard when you have multiple kids and each spouse is stressed from the events of the day.  It is at these times that your marriage is truly put to the test.  So many times throughout the day Julia and I said to each other, “We are not going to let this lipstick bother us!”  Wether it was lipstick in the carpet, food on the floor, a tense conversation about family duties, sick kids, or family pictures, we were going to fight for our anniversary and marriage.  Thankfully, by the grace of God, we conquered that battle and we have hope to win the war!

Advertisements

The Emotions of Summit

 I will admit it, I am on the more emotional side.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the strawberry blonde hair?  It doesn’t matter if it is getting fired up or being excited, I tend to experience the full range of emotions.  Usually, my emotions are worn on my sleeve and I am told my emotions can easily be seen on my face.  I will also admit I do shed the occasional tear watching a movie, watching Extreme Home Makeover (I now refuse to watch the show), hearing sappy stories, singing certain praise songs (especially In Christ Alone), experiencing big moments in my life, and hearing/seeing big moments in other people’s lives.  Okay, so maybe I tear up more than occasionally!  It does seem as though fatherhood has brought out my emotions more than ever before and I think often of Jimmy Valvano’s quote from his famous “Never Give Up” speech. 

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

I can’t say that my emotions move me to tears every day, but I am finding it comes more days than not.  But Valvano’s quote does remind me of the fact that there is nothing wrong with being emotional.  

The most recent overflow of emotions in my life, of course, came with the birth of my second son, Summit.  Yes, the expected tears did flow, but something unexpected happened with my emotions.  There were two emotions that remained prevalent throughout different times of the day.  The interesting thing wasn’t that I experienced two emotions at one time. Rather it was a rare instance in life when I simultaneously experienced two emotions that reside on complete opposite sides of the emotional spectrum.  I can’t think of many times in life that I have experience two complete opposite emotions at the same time.  Although experiencing these emotions were different and unexpected, it felt amazingly perfect for the moment.  Thankfully, there was a camera in the room to capture the collision of two opposite emotions.

PRIDE AND HUMILITY

Holding My Two Boys for the First Time

 

 

 


Double Team

Double team was the strategy going into the 21st day of May in the year 2009.   The four years previous to this day Julia and I were on the court shooting a friendly game of Horse.  There was a lot of valuable time spent together communicating, planning, and growing through life.  Those four years of Horse were absolutely amazing and a time to be cherished.  Shot after shot and game after game, I grew to love Julia more than life it’s self.  God showed me there was no other person on this planet that was a better match for myself.  Where I missed the lay up, she nailed it.  Where she struggled with three ball, I called nothing but net.  Together we were the best at creating and mastering the trick shot. If we where to play another team in Horse, we couldn’t be beaten, we couldn’t be separated. 

Then Shepherd on that 21st day of May in the year 2009 walked on to the court.  This baller brought a new game to the playground, and we were no longer playing Horse.  It was a full-fledged pick up game of 2 on 1.  Shepherd’s height was deceiving, but he quickly revealed his mad skills.  The only way Julia and I were going to make it was if we used the double team.

Luckily, we could see Shepherd coming from 9 months away.  We had a lot of time to worry, plan, and prepare.   I say worry, because I absolutely loved our four years of playing Horse.  I didn’t want to flush all those hours and memories down the drain, because a new baby came to the playground.  I feared Julia, being an amazing and loving mother, would forget about me.  Also, I feared we could both be so consumed with Shepherd that we would forget about each other.  See, I know that after 18 years Shepherd is walking off the court to go play his own game.  When he does leave (or the last child leaves), I know we are back to playing Horse and I want to know my partner!  So, double team was our plan and it worked well.  We worked closely as team and were both ready to jump in when the other was exhausted.  My fears were relieved after a year and a half when I looked up at my teammate and realized we were closer than ever before.  Sure, 2 on 1 one had its highs and lows, but I was glad I was playing the game with Julia and Shepherd.

Those of you who have experience playing 2 on 1, what are some suggestions for keeping your marriage the main priority? 

Van Damme and Rodman Suggestions:

  1. Double Team – two parents involved is easier than one parent.
  2. Make time for each other and make sure you have a date night often!
  3. Weekend trip – take the kid with you at times, but leave them behind at times.
  4. Strict bed time for the little one – this gives you time for yourselves in the evening.
  5. Guy time/Girl time – everyone needs a break and don’t keep tabs!

Oh, but wait this blog is not over!  I can see another baby boy making his way to the playground and he will be here in a matter of days.  The game is about to shift from 2 on 1 to 2 on 2.  Goodbye double team!  Man to man here we come!  So, of course I have my jitters about the new game to be played.  Honestly, this man to man strategy looks tough and grueling at times.  There won’t be many timeouts and rests on the bench will be short.  I know there will be ups and downs, but I have faith in my ole Horse partner and the good Lord to care us through. 

Does anyone have any advice on the man to man strategy?  And what about those who are down one man and forced to play zone?  Please comment because we need the help!

WARNING: Do not watch the movie Double Team!  I am certain any movie with Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme is horrible!


%d bloggers like this: